I used to be a walking calorie counter. My day consisted of weighing up every morsel – either on a scale or in my mind – and working on a punishment/reward system where I was constantly judging myself as good or bad.
When I was good, I was very good. Too good. Psycho good. Rigidity and rules, pills and plans..I was a glutton for control. [pun intended]
But no matter how “good” I was, I never had peace and ease around food.
I could do the diet plans, take the supplements, follow the food program, but I was more or less always obsessed, anxious and thinking about food.
I didn’t know what it meant to actually trust my gut or eat intuitively. And when people would say, “just eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full” I was like, “fuck you. You clearly don’t get me or get my appetite.”
I wasn’t able to only eat when I was hungry or just stop when I was full.
That was crazy talk to me. My way of eating was either totally restricting or bingeing or doing some kind of controlled eating to try and “prove” to myself that I could eat normally or just saying fuck it and eating whatever I wanted…
But the idea that I would only think about food when I was hungry and then once full lose interest in the food baffled me.
I knew people like that but it wasn’t me.
Until, one day it was.
I don’t remember the exact day. It was more like how when you get better from a cold – you don’t realize the exact day and time that you stopped the sniffles, you just notice that you can now breathe out of your nose again without the meds – that’s how it was with me and food.
I started having days where the only time I thought of food was when I was actually hungry for food. And then once I filled up on something enjoyable and nourishing, I’d walk out of the kitchen and move on with my day.
I stopped eating a second dinner late night. I stopped thinking about food during the day. I stopped rewarding myself with food after work. I stopped revolving my life around food.
It was so foreign that part of me didn’t want to believe it. But as it became more of the norm, I realized that my relationship with food really had changed – and it wasn’t my doing!!
I mean yes, I had taken action. But it wasn’t the kind of action I thought I had to take.
It didn’t require me to get all obsessive, go on some elimination diet, swear off my favorite treats or finally muster the discipline and willpower that hadn’t consistently been there before.
In fact, the action I took had very little to do with food at all.
It had more to do with becoming congruent from the inside out.
…learning how to live by my internal guidance instead of outside approval, learning how to trust my gut and access the courage to actually honor my intuition, learning how to do life on life’s terms – instead of fixing, forcing and fighting everything and everyone…
And when I learned and integrated these new ways of being, the food addiction went away.
I was no longer obsessed about food. I was no longer wasting precious time and energy trying to figure things out with food. I felt ease for the first time in my life. Not just around food, but around life in general.
It was like I could take a full breath again. I was finally at home in my own skin and comfortable just being me. That’s when I realized:
Freedom from food addiction doesn’t come from figuring out how to eat. Freedom from food addiction comes from learning how to LIVE.
That’s why I’m so inspired and motivated to help other women learn how to live congruently.
Because living congruently = freedom from addiction. All addiction.
And freedom from addiction means that you finally get to have the time and energy to do what you really love, that you can connect more meaningfully with people and that you have the capacity to be present in your relationships.
It means that you get to live lighter and at the same time deepen in purpose and peace. It means that you are grounded in a new sense of confidence – that allows you to show up as your authentic self.
Freedom means coming back home to you.
And sister, that is one thing I am deeply committed to – helping you come back home to you. Because you have universes in you waiting to be explored. You have lifetimes in you waiting to be expressed. You have healing medicine in you waiting to shared.
And I want to help you access all of it. Because you living more congruently means more ease for you and more light in the world.
So if that’s something you want, then reach out, reply to this message – and let me know where you’re at. I’m here for ya and if it will serve you on your path, happy to share more specifically what’s worked for me and what I see work for the other women I work with.
Bottom line is food does not have to be a struggle.
You can be free. And you do not have to figure it out on your own.
In dedication of all things raw, real and recovered,
p.s. And if you’re really feeling called to make 2017 your year of living more congruently and authentically then I’d love for you to join me at the first ever Freedom Embodied LIVE event happening January 28-29 in San Diego, CA.
This 2-day signature experience is all about activating your freedom, accessing more connection and learning the very tools that I’ve been using and teaching for nearly a decade to live congruently and free from addiction.
So if that sounds like your jam, then you can more details and your Early Bird ticket here: Freedom Embodied LIVE