I just did an image search for “connection” and “woman” and got this:
Every picture showing a woman using a smartphone or computer…
Scarey isn’t it?
But it makes sense. In today’s era, connection is synonymous with technology. We can get updates in an instant, message millions in minutes and even have the ability to text someone in Timbuctoo.
So why is it then that even with all this access, do we still feel anxious, alienated and alone?
Why is it that we can walk into a room, be all smiles and positivity, offer help and look “together,” but inside feel completely different and full of doubt?
This picture says it all.
Because the truth is we are starving for real connection.
True, deep, meaningful connection. That feeling of belonging. That feeling of not being alone.
We want to be received without being judged, loved without conditions and accepted just as we are.
But in order to get that, we need to do something else that is even more out of reach…
We need to be able to connect with ourselves first.
This is where I find most women struggle.
For many of us, to connect with ourselves is to open a Pandora’s Box of guilt, shame, blame and all feelings that we’ve been stuffing, silencing or swallowing down for years.
We don’t want to feel that ickiness. We already feel icky as it is.
So it’s easier to distract with busyness and stay in the familiar “convenience zone” of constantly thinking about what we need and obsessing about what to do.
But thinking and obsessing are not real connecting and they often leave us feeling even more anxious and alone – never filling that emptiness inside.
So we fill up on other things – food, alcohol, unhealthy relationship, tv, facebook…or whatever else we use to not feel or deal.
And this only makes us more disconnected and self doubting.
What we really need is to learn how to connect with ourselves and what connecting with ourselves really means, which is why I’m so passionate about teaching women this very thing.
Because it’s one thing to know you need to connect with yourself in order to connect with others.
But learning what that really means and how to do it is what actually creates real lasting change.
That’s why at this next Freedom Embodied LIVE happening May 27 and 28 I’ll be showing you the three things you need to know in order to have real connection and end the loneliness.
I’m also gonna keep sharing special connection tools in the Freedom Embodied LIVE Facebook group.
Because ever since I started doing these very tools myself, I went from perpetually feeling like an outsider to now having deep, meaningful friendships where I am loved and accepted just as I am and also supported to continue living the best version of me.
Bottom line is addiction wants to take us down the path of isolation and resignation.
So in order to get free we have to connect. We need to feel that we’re not alone. We need to have someone to call when we’re in our shit who says, “I totally relate, I get you.”
We need to know we’re not the only weirdos who have a million things to be grateful for and still get suicidal thoughts sometimes.
We need to know that we’re ok, even when we’re not feeling ok.
We need to know that it’s not always gonna be this way, that there is hope, that we can be free.
We need to know it’s possible.
So I’m telling you now, it’s possible.
Yes, you can feel safe being connected with yourself and with others.
Yes you can wake up not feeling that anxious ball of impending doom.
Yes you can be free from the obsession and constant angst.
Yes you can be comfortable in your own skin.
But I don’t want you to just take my word for it. I want you to see and hear it with your own eyes and ears from the women who’ve I’ve watched it happen to. Because to hear and see another woman sharing from her heart automatically connects us all.
So decide in your heart today – right here, right now, that you are committed to connecting.
And then take one small action today.
Maybe for you it’s committing to more daily meditation.
Or maybe it’s getting outside your comfort zone and attending a meetup or event.
Or maybe it’s picking up the phone and calling a friend.
Whatever your next step of connection is, I acknowledge you for giving yourself permission to start.
Because even though society wants to make connecting about iphone apps and newsfeeds, we know that the real, true connection is about coming back home to the real, true you.
In dedication of all things raw, real and recovered,
p.s. For those of you in the SoCal area, join us at our next Food Freedom, Friends and Fitness event April 2. You can get all the details and join the fun right here: 3 Keys To Being Comfortable In Your Own Skin
p.p.s. And for those who aren’t local, join us in the Freedom Embodied LIVE Facebook group and get free tools and resources to help you connect more deeply with you.