I got into the nuts on New Year’s Eve.
It started out innocently enough – I was at a party, it was going on 11pm and I got mildly interested in having a non-gluten snack that was “healthy.”
Without a second thought, I walked to the kitchen, found the Costco tub of salted mixed nuts and grabbed a handful.
A little voice inside piped up: “You know nuts give you a tummy ache.”
But I figured that just a few wouldn’t hurt. Besides, I figured, I was eating something with fat and protein so it was healthier than snacking on crackers.
Half way into eating them I was called away and so didn’t finish them and I took this to be a good sign proving to myself that I wasn’t in an obsessive addictive loop.
Then some time later I started chatting with some friends at the party and found myself reaching for the bowl of mixed nuts on the table.
It was casual-looking enough, but as an ex-problem food addict, it was highly suspicious to me. Still, the suspicion wasn’t powerful enough to deter me and I kept on snacking.
The clincher was when it was 2am and I was leaving and my mind pinged: “Hey maybe it would be a good idea to take some nuts home for the road.”
That’s when I knew I was definitely in an addictive loop.
It was so startling to me because it’s been years since I’ve had such an obvious loss of control with food but it also got me incredibly curious.
Where had I veered off track?
Where had I slacked and started cutting corners on the very freedom formula I teach?
As soon as I started asking myself these honest questions, my inner guidance began rattling off a laundry list of “spiritual citations” like…
…you’ve been slacking on your spiritual and embodiment practices
…you’ve been waltzing into holiday gatherings without any of the tools and preparations that keep you grounded and present
…you have been obsessively preoccupied with your moving plans…
It was actually comical how clearly my inner guidance was speaking to me.
And it helped me to see that the New Year’s Eve nut binge didn’t start at 11pm that night…
It started days or possibly even weeks before, as I got incrementally more and more preoccupied and less and less present to doing the very tools, practices and teachings that keep me sane and free.
I share all of this for a few reasons.
Firstly, because I believe in total transparency. I’m human. I get off track. I’m not perfect.
Secondly, because if you’ve gotten off track it doesn’t mean that you’re weak, stupid, bad, wrong or any of the other things your mind is telling you. You also don’t have to do some extreme diet or detox to get yourself back on track.
That shit doesn’t last anyway and you know it.
So what I want to share with you is what I did that got me from slacking to being right back on track – without the guilt, remorse, wrong-making, extreme thinking, extreme dieting, obsession or shame.
Instead of condemnation I got curious. See, we think that it’s the action of getting off track and reverting to old patterns that is the problem. But the problem is not that we’ve gotten off track. The problem is that we are using the information of us falling off the rails to mean that we are wrong, bad and broken.
It’s the judgement that keeps us stuck, not the action itself.
When I got curious, I didn’t make meaning out of it and start to identify my worth and value out of it. I was willing to have a look at what was showing up objectively – which saved me from shame, guilt, obsessive thinking and extreme behaviors and allowed me to move into the next step instead of spinning out or checking out.
I got honest. Getting curious and not taking it personally or making meaning out of it allowed me to get honest about where I had been slacking on the very formula I teach. I took myself through the embodiment inventory I do with my clients to see where I was at, where I was off and what I needed to do to get back on track.
I saw that I had been cutting corners. I had been doing some of the practices I teach but only half-heartedly, and others I wasn’t doing at all! Getting honest allowed me to instantly recognize which pillars and practices I needed to immerse myself in so I could reconnect. I got inspired and excited because I now knew exactly where to put my focus and energy.
I got in micro-action. The old me would have wanted some big grand gesture – some extreme diet, some over-the-top goal, something that would redeem me and motivate me to get back into discipline. But the me today gets that it’s not about the big, grand gestures. It’s about the small, tiny daily and moment-by-moment micro-actions that realign us. So I started fresh the next morning with a renewed commitment and sense of excitement to practicing the pillars, practices and tools in the freedom formula.
I share all of this to let you know that it’s OK to get off track. It happens. We’re human, we slack sometimes.
All getting off track is is a living litmus test to show you that there is one or more areas of your life that need more honesty and attention.
I’m super excited for this wake-up call because it’s inviting me into an even deeper level of commitment and embodiment of the freedom formula.
And I’m committed to you having and experiencing that same, deeper level of freedom, which is why I’m going to be sharing, exactly what I’ll be doing to activate even deeper levels of freedom and connection at Freedom Embodied LIVE Jan 28-29th.
Over this 2-day, immersive experience, I’ll be sharing the new distinctions I’ve just discovered to make the freedom formula even more potent and effective.
And I get that this event isn’t for everyone which is why I made it small and intimate. This event is specifically for women who are sick and tired of being sick and tired, wanting more freedom from food and who are ready to get honest, get real and get free.
So if that sounds like something you want to be a part of, you can check out all the details here:
I hope to see you live in a few weeks where we can together activate and anchor in a new freedom, connection, clarity and confidence for 2017 and beyond!
In dedication of all things raw, real and recovered,