Do you muster the energy for others but find there’s nothing left in the tank for you?
If you’re a busy woman who helps others and but doesn’t self care, then take a few minutes right now and watch this video Self Care: 5 Tips To Take Care of Yourself for some tools you can use right away.
If you’re thinking, yeah I get that I need to self care but I’m too busy…
I have one thing to say to you:
Stop Being Selfish.
Selfish??? Screw you! I’m anything but that!! Everything I do is for others!
If that’s where you mind just went, then I 100% get where you’re coming from. I would have thought the same thing.
It took me years to wrap my head around what was actual self care and what was selfish because in my family, self care was considered selfish.
You got way more points for overworking, doing without, putting others needs before yours and pushing your body past the point of exhaustion.
I remember seeing my mom running around trying to be all things to all people. My dad, working 12 hour days on 3 hours of sleep…
Even my sports teams endorsed this ‘suck-it-up-play-through-the-
Can you relate?
Giving all your attention and caring to others and having nothing left for you, pushing yourself past exhaustion, getting sick or run down, late nights or unhealthy eating patterns…
I know, that might not sound like selfish behavior. In fact it probably sounds like utter selflessness.
But putting everyone else before you is selfish. And here’s why…
It typically comes from a place of fear. Often times when we’re really honest with ourselves, we can see that our overworking and over-extending ourselves in the name of service is being driven by a deeper need to be needed, valued or significant. Whenever this happens, it limits our ability to be of real help to others because we are attached to outcomes and our own agendas. We can tell ourselves it’s our high standards and commitment to excellence, which is true to an extent. But when it happens at the cost of our own health and self care, then we need to be willing to see how our fear of losing face, disappointing, looking bad or being judged is somehow holding us hostage in unhealthy, sabotaging patterns.
It holds you back from being your most present, energized, available YOU. When you’re eating unhealthy food, not getting enough sleep or juggling too many things on your plate and not taking time for you, there is just no way you can be your best. Not only is your ability to focus and be present impaired, but it also makes you more prone to irritation, impatience, overwhelm and resentment – all of which get in the way and block your ability to be of real help to others.
It’s not sustainable. The healthier you are the more help you can be to others. But when you put yourself under constant stress and strain, you flood your body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which can keep you in a constant “fight or flight” mode, and create all kinds of systemic issues like chronic inflammation, chronic pain, gut issues, impaired sleep, anxiety, depression, early signs of aging, illness and a shortened lifespan.
So now that you know it’s not heroic to hold back on the self care, how do you integrate self care into your life if you’re still committed to helping others and being of service?
Or you can just glance at a brief description the 5 tips below:
Schedule it. Make an appointment with you. Even if it’s for 30 seconds to just breathe.
Shift your language. Instead of “I never have time for me.” Try “I am taking time for me.” or “I am getting better at self care.”
Small steps. Don’t try to do a whole lifestyle makeover that you can’t and won’t sustain. Instead, get creative with small changes you can make in your day.
Story reframe. Instead of thinking that self care is selfish, realize that self care is the highest form of SERVICE. It’s your responsibility to fill up fully so that you can be your most healthy, vital and energized you.
Support. Stop being a hero and trying to figure it all out on your own. You don’t get points for never needing anyone. It’s natural to need some help – even if it is vulnerable to ask. Do you need an organic food delivery service? A housekeeper? An assistant? A Coach? Getting support where you need it will allow you show up even bigger for those who you’re here to help.
Speaking of support…if you do want some help with getting clear on why you keep doing what you’re doing even though you know you need to self care more, then book a support call with me and let me help you get some clarity. http://getsupport.today
In dedication of all of you,
p.s. There’s still time to get all the expert interviews (and hundreds in free gifts!) in The Permanent Weight Loss Summit. >>>Join today right here<<< – and make sure to tune in for my interview on March 23rd!