Raw & Real

How to Reconnect with Yourself

February 13, 2019 By Debbie Lichter Leave a Comment

Have you ever felt lost? I don’t mean the kind of lost where you don’t know where your car is. I mean the kind of lost where you don’t know who you are.

The kind of lost that has you saying YES when you mean no, smiling when you’re actually sad, or giving everything to everyone, except yourself.

This is the kind of lost that has you feeling alone at a social event, awkward around others or anxious all the time.

The kind of lost where you realize your life is on autopilot and you can’t remember the last time you felt true joy.

The kind of lost that leaves you wondering what you’re doing here.

The kind of lost where you want to put yourself first and do what you want to do – only you don’t even know what that is anymore.

I’ve felt that kind of lost, and more importantly, I’ve spoken with thousands of people who’ve shared the same feelings…

“I give everything to everyone else. I just want to reconnect with me.”

“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

“I want to find out what I’m doing here. I know I’m meant for more but I don’t know what that is.”

“I have so much to be grateful for but I feel like I’m only giving 50% to everything – 50% as a wife, 50% as a mother, 50% at work…I know if I can get back in touch with myself, I’ll be able to give more fully to the people in my life.”

If you relate then I want to help you get back to you – the real, true, authentic you.

I made this video for you with 3 powerful tools to reconnect with yourself. Watch here.

How To Reconnect With Yourself

At min 01:56: We discuss the top 3 things that hijack your ability to authentically connect with yourself.

At min 10:26 Find out what to do to get back to you.

At min 13:38 Get the secret to stop feeling lonely that no one is talking about.

At min 19:01 Learn what blocks us from being able to eat intuitively.

At min 19:57 Discover how to have more ease, fun, joy and inner peace.

At min 21:47 Hear how to trust yourself, feeling more confident, be comfortable in your skin, shine your light and just be you.

At min 22:52 Find out how to work with Debbie 1 on 1 or in an intimate group.

If this video was helpful, hit reply and let me know, I’d love to hear from you. And, if there’s any way I can support you, I’m just an email away.

In dedication of all of you,

P.s. Do you want more authentic connection with other women as you deepen in your own spirituality and freedom? Then come and join for FREE! Click Here.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

February 6, 2019 By Debbie Lichter Leave a Comment

Do you ever compare yourself to others? Last week at an intimate women’s gathering here in San Diego, we got honest about that thing that everyone does, but no one talks about…

The endless comparing ourselves to others…

You see the skinny, fit girl at the gym and start feeling fat.

You hear your a colleague made another 20k last week, and immediately feel like a failure.

You find out your friend just got engaged and it makes you feel even more alone.

Let’s face it, we all do this to a certain extent.

It’s hard not to these days with feeds, filters and an endless stream of bite sized snippets of other people’s live that somehow make what they have going on so much better…even if your life is actually pretty darn good!

So if comparing ourselves is something we can all relate to, even though we know it’s not ultimately serving, then the real question becomes, how do we stop doing it?

That’s what last week’s Facebook Live video was all about.

If you want to cut the the chase…

==> ffwd to minute 02:33, where we kick off the discussion talking about the “Too Much/Not Enough” Complex

==> At min 03:44 we talk get into Compartmentalization Conflict and the source from where out comparison problem stems

==> And then in min 08:36, we dive into #1 insider strategy for kicking comparison and feeling more confident

==> At min 20:54 I share how you can connect with me personally to get some 1:1 support around having the confidence to follow through with what you know you’re here to do

Watch the video directly on Facebook here ⇒ How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Or click below:

How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBtOmENjP4I

xo, Deb

P.s. Can you make it to our next women’s gathering in San Diego? Save your seat and bring a friend ⇒ Freedom Talks Monthly Gatherings for Women

The Secret to Ending Loneliness

January 30, 2019 By Debbie Lichter Leave a Comment

Tell me if you relate – you have so much going on and yet underneath it all, you feel lonely.

Like you’re going through the motions and for the most part things are fine, but inside it feels like no one truly gets you.

I’ve been there. I never felt like I belonged. I was “too much” of the wrong things – too intense, too needy, too serious, too high maintenance…

Or not enough of the right ones – not fun enough, not spontaneous enough, not skinny enough, not important enough…

So It became easier to isolate. But then food became my best friend.

If you’ve ever been there, or feel there now then you might find this interesting:

A recent study of 20,000 people revealed that one out of two Americans feels lonely.

Lonely has literally become an epidemic.

It’s the paradox of the 21st century: We have more ways to connect with each other than ever, and yet the thing we’re starving for is in short supply:

A deep sense of authentic connection and belonging.

This is the whole reason I started the Freedom Talks Monthly Gatherings for Women.Because I kept hearing from smart, talented, incredible women, who others would probably say have it together…

That they could be in a room full of people and feel totally alone.

Or that they had a great life with so much to be grateful for, by that gnawing feeling of not belonging here never left.

Or that, like me, food was their best friend.

That’s why, in last weeks launch of Freedom Talks San Diego, the theme of our entire gathering was on The Alchemy of Belonging and the 3 elements you need in order to have a deep sense of belonging.

I included some notes about some of what we discussed below.

If you want to find out more about Freedom Talks Gatherings For Women and join the next one or start one in your area, check out this short video:

Here’s some of what we discussed in the last Freedom Talks Gathering…

The 3 Key Elements Of Belonging And How To Recognize And Cultivate Them

1. Community – Belonging with Others*
How To Recognize And Cultivate It:

– Look for a group that embraces all of you – where you can just be yourself; totally authentic and real
– Make sure it has an element of authentic relating and meaningful connection – where you get to go beyond surface conversation and you get to feel safe being vocal, vulnerable and visible
– What makes a group of people truly become a tribe is when you are united for a common reason or purpose that calls you forward into a more life affirming, generative space.

* If you struggle in this area, you’ll often feel like a perpetual outsider – different – like you don’t belong. You may prefer being a lone wolf or prefer to be by yourself but you also may be avoiding intimacy, authentic connection and real love by doing this. It’s also common to not feel safe around others or fear getting hurt or rejected, and as a result, to hold back, avoid getting too close or act fake. This pattern creates a no win reality where to be around others feels totally unsafe and scary and to stay in isolation feels like you’re cut off and don’t belong anywhere except by yourself.

2. Connection with Something Bigger – Belonging to the Whole**
How To Recognize And Cultivate It:

– Feels like you’re an intrinsic part of the whole – a unique light – containing a valuable piece of the cosmic puzzle that only you can provide
– Gives you a sense that you are safe and protected and allows you to trust that you have what you need and that you’re going to be ok no matter what
– Gives you a feeling of having a higher purpose, something to contribute to takes you out of yourself

**If you struggle in this area, you’ll often times feel like you’re alone and have to figure everything out on your own. You’ll typically feel like you need to rely on yourself because no one else is there for you at the end of the day. You may have some general spiritual beliefs but when it comes down to it, you are self-reliant, independent and less likely to ask for help. This can have you feel utterly alone and misunderstood but it can often just force you further into yourself to ty and get things together. This pattern is a recipe for perpetually feeling alone or like you’re on your own.

3. Comfort In Your Skin – Belonging Inside of Yourself***
How To Recognize And Cultivate It:

– Feels safe inside – like you can take a breath, relax and be present.
– Has you out of your head and connected in your body.
– Gives you the courage and confidence to be more authentic, open, intimate and vulnerable with others,
– Allows you to keep centered and grounded and not get thrown off or caught up in others drama, opinions or actions.

***If you struggle in this area, you’ll typically feel like you’re always up in your head – obsessing about something or trying to figure out what to do. It can have you feeling anxious, overwhelmed or full of doubt. You may get neck and shoulder tension or have chronic pain. You may obsess about or judge your body, but you are rarely in it. This can have you feeling perpetually alone because not being in your body means not being connected to your core truth or your body’s wisdom. Living outside your core truth and body’s wisdom will keep you feeling like an outsider – not just with others, but also from yourself.

Out of these 3 Elements of Belonging, which do you feel you’re strongest in and which is your biggest area of growth? Hit reply and let me know – I’d love to hear from you.

In dedication of all of you,
xoDeb

P.s. let’s do this together. <3

Do you want more authentic connection with other women as you deepen in your own spirituality and freedom? Then come and join for FREE! Click Here.

How to reconnect with yourself

January 23, 2019 By Debbie Lichter Leave a Comment