What stops us from feeling free and being authentic?
Incongruence is when your head, heart and gut are conflicting, which causes you to act out of alignment with your authentic self.
Like when you get a gut hit to do something new or to put yourself out there, but then your head says, “oh no, you can’t do that!” or…“you’re not ready!” or…“what are others going to think!??” So instead, you hold back.
Or like when you feel an emotion (sadness, grief, shame, loneliness, etc) but you tell yourself you’re being too sensitive and so you ignore it – or you just stuff it and don’t think about it at all.
These are just some examples of living incongruently.
The problem with incongruence is that it cuts us off from our authentic selves and disconnects us from our Inner Guidance System.
Our Inner Guidance System is the culmination of wisdom that comes from us in our bodies, to us intuitively and through us in Divine inspiration, when we are congruent and connected.
We can sense what “feels” right in the moment, we operate on intuitive “hits” that guide us and we are able to hear those still small whispers of Divine inspiration that help us to feel safe and protected.
Being congruent and connected to our Inner Guidance System also means that we have the courage and confidence to follow through with what we’re guided to do.
But when we are disconnected from our Inner Guidance System, we are subject to seek guidance and direction from the compartmentalized, fear-based voice in our head or from external influences, like how others perceive us.
When this happens, our Inner Guidance gets blocked out by our attachments to how we think we should be, and this further alienates us from authentic selves.
So how do we reverse this incongruent pattern and get back to our authentic selves?
Here are 3 tips to help you come into greater congruence and harmony with your authentic self:
The first thing you need to do is recognize your pattern.
Recognizing is about watching when you get a gut instinct or an intense emotion and noticing if instead of feeling it fully and following where it’s leading you, you do something else with it.
Some common patterns you may notice that show up in other high achievers are getting distracted or getting busy with something else that’s not so confronting so you don’t have to deal with the uncomfortable feeling.
Or discovering that this is the moment when you go eat something or you pour a glass of wine or get lost on social media.
(You can also download this free resource: The Congruence Code Accelerator to get an in depth list of incongruent patterns that might be holding you back).
The important thing is to just notice your pattern without judgement. Instead, be curious. Recognizing your pattern with curiosity and non-judgement actually already puts you on the path of more congruence and freedom.
The next step is being willing to do it differently.
This stage is about being willing to set aside what you think you know – about yourself, about how you think things are, and even about what you think you need – so that you can truly open up for a brand new experience of all of it.
This might sound like an easy step, but many of us are holding so tightly to what we think we know, how we think things are and how we think things are supposed to be that often this is a step we need to repeat constantly in order to truly stay open and available for a new experience.
I personally have a little prayer reminder pop-up on my phone that flashes throughout the day and keeps me connected to this key. Find what works for you and then be consistent with it.
The next stage is taking courageous action.
Just like that. No “wait but!” or “I just need to first…” We need to take raw, bold, imperfect, unpracticed action. The kind that makes you want to puke. The kind that feels super uncomfortable.
This is perhaps the most important of all the steps.
Because if you’re not taking bold, uncomfortable, imperfect action, then you’re staying in theory, immersed in information, but never actually experiencing the true transformation.
It’s like standing on a diving board without diving.
As long as you’re on the diving board, nothing is changing and the power to have a new experience eludes you.
But the moment you dive, suddenly everything changes. You are immediately launched into a whole new experience. You are no longer static and fearing the ‘what if.’ You are now in action – truly living – as the present moment unfolds along with you.
This bold, uncomfortable and imperfect action is what allows you to feel alive – no longer tethered to what you think you know – operating in a completely new way that’s intuitive and enjoyable.
The discomfort that was there while you were standing on the diving board vanishes, and instead you feel free!
These 3 vital stages above are part of a 7 phase system that I have used thousands of times personally to rocket into new levels of freedom and fulfillment.
It’s something I call The Congruence Code.
This system is what catapulted me onto the path of freedom from food and other addictions, gave me the missing pieces so that for the first time I felt comfortable in my skin and gifted me the courage to launch an international business and become an international speaker.
The beautiful thing about these tools is that they work for anything, anytime, anywhere and can in a moment take you from feeling stuck in what’s safe and familiar to the sweet spot of next level freedom.
That’s why I’m so passionate to show others how to apply and embody these simple tools. Because shifting out of incongruence to more freedom, authenticity and alignment is not only so possible for you, it’s also actually what the world needs right now.
Those of us who are being called to get free so we can shine our light and help more people are feeling the urgency because our time has come to do just that!
And every moment we distract ourselves from that destiny we will find ourselves in incongruent patterns, feeling tired, annoyed and frustrated.
I for one am no stranger to what happens when we’re not actively on our path of freedom and living incongruently.
For me, incongruence looks like constant anxiety, stress and overwhelm, feeling like a fraud and being perpetually stuck in the binging and restricting cycle with food.
It’s also frustrating because I know I’m here for more, but when I’m caught in incongruent patterns, I can’t seem to get what I’m missing.
If you recognize yourself in that too, then I hope you take these steps to heart, apply them liberally in every area of your life, and get ready to activate a freer, more authentic, more aligned you.
In dedication of all of you,
p.s. To help you on your path of feeling free and living authentically, here are some additional resources for you:
Join this: The Congruence Collective Facebook Group: http://liveyourlight.today
Schedule this: A complimentary Congruence Activation Call with Founder of The Congruence Code, Debbie Lichter: http://allofyou.today
Download this: The Congruence Code Accelerator http://congruencecode.com